Postponing Our Already Planned Wedding
As a little girl, we've all probably dreamed about our big day? From what we would wear to where it would take place. Unlike most — I'd never dreamed of that special day and what it would consist of. Yes, I always dreamed of being married but that's it. Nothing more and nothing less. I guess I thought that things would just fall into place when the time came and of course, they didn't.
If you're a long time friend, family member or supporter then you probably know some background about our love story right after the big engagement. Just to give a snippet of background information if you don't -- I relocated to Philadelphia the morning after (yes, you read that right) he popped the big question. We packed up my whole life in four bags and hopped on a plan. The engagement came as such a surprise to me when it happened on top of many other blessings at the moment that I can honestly admit that I was on cloud 9 -- much longer than the average person. New city, new home, new job, new car, and now a wedding to plan on top of it all.
And then wedding planning started....
Truthfully, we didn't know where to begin. My parents were not married and we didn't have many couples around to ask questions about the process. I had never been in a wedding and I can count on one hand how many weddings I've actually gone to. Talk about a lost cause with Pinterest leading us in all sorts of directions. The good thing is Google is a great source for almost anything. The bad thing is Google is an overwhelming source for almost anything.
"When is the best time to send out save the dates?"
"Are save the dates and wedding invitations necessary?"
“How do I choose between a wedding planner, partial planner and day of coordinator?”
I googled and googled and googled....and googled. My biggest struggle that never crossed my mind until I started wedding planning was that I had now moved miles away from my family during such a pivotal moment in my life. It was hard and I hated to admit it but I needed them. Trying to plan everything completely by myself and constantly falling short in many areas of wedding planning made me feel defeated. From selecting bad vendors to trying to help every family member set up travel from the Mid-West to the East Coast. You name it -- we most certainly went through it. This was not the wedding planning experience that I hoped for or even wanted to look back on.
Three months away from the big day...
The anxiety we felt daily continued, my excitement to get down the aisle faded away and wedding planning as a whole made me sad. I couldn't talk about our wedding day without breaking out into tears. I WAS A WALKING WRECK. I had never dreamed of my wedding day as a child but I knew the feeling I felt was not normal. Well -- It hit me hard one day when I realized that I had missed out on every intimate moment that makes wedding planning memorable. From not being able to have my mom see me try on wedding gowns to skipping out on a bridal shower. We continued to go through the motions of wedding planning and the feeling soon turned into "we just need to get down the aisle".
I was tired. We were tired.
One day it just hit us that we could continue to go down the aisle in three months and regret everything about leading up to that day or we could do truly what we felt deep down in our hearts to do. After the hard decision of wondering what everyone would feel about us, as a unit we realized ultimately we had to do what was best for us.
I remember the feeling I felt knowing that we would both first have to let our parents know the news and then family and friends. We attempted to prepare ourselves for thoughts, opinions and heartbreak from people we truly cared about but ended up being stunned at the opposite responses. Our parents, family and friends were ecstatic to hear that they had another year to prepare and said they commended us for being brave enough to make such a decision. To think that a day I expected to be one of the worst in my life turned out be the best, truly shows the amazing support system we have.
Today, I can proudly say and feel that we made the best decision for our union and the best is yet to come. We’re now just a few months out from the big day this year and we couldn’t be happier. We're beyond grateful for everyone’s continued support and prayers!
PHOTOGRAPHER // (MAMA PHOTOG)